What’s the difference between fitting in and belonging?
It’s something that most of us have had to learn, at some point in our lives.
When we’re young, it’s easy to place a high priority on fitting in.
The danger here is that we tend to look to others for outside approval to bolster our confidence and sense of self worth.
We willingly change something about ourselves like our appearance or our standards in order to be accepted by a particular group.
But that’s not the same thing as belonging.
Belonging is what happens when we have the confidence to show up as our true selves without needing to compare ourselves to others.
It’s the kind of confidence that comes from within us and it is gained by doing difficult things that push us beyond our current abilities.
That confidence draws people to us who value genuine depth and breadth over superficial appearances.
They want our association because we know who we are and where we’re headed.
Fitting in, on the other hand, would have us follow the path of least resistance with little consideration over where the crowd may be leading us.
Simply fitting in isn’t an intrinsic good.
As T.K. Coleman asks, “Are you fitting in to a prison? Or are you trying to fight your way into a paradise?”
Depending on what you intend to do with your life, sometimes it’s better to stand out than it is to fit in.
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