The Upside of Challenging Times
When nothing is certain, anything is possible
Ever hear people talk about how bad things come in threes?
Typically, when a famous person dies, people start anxiously casting about for the other two deaths that will confirm the pattern.
To the best of my knowledge, scientists have yet to confirm that this idea is anything other than societal superstition.
When our world starts getting unpredictable, we tend to look for patterns. It’s part of our human nature to want to make sense of seemingly random things.
Maybe we seek those dubious connections in order to put to rest any worries that some other challenge may be headed our way.
We might say, “Whew, it’s a good thing that after my fender bender, I spilled my coffee at work and cut my finger while fixing dinner. Now nothing bad can happen to me.”
Disruptions in our lives tend to leave us looking for a reasonable explanation – even when the disruption is a potentially positive one.
Still, I have to wonder if multiples of trials or triumphs aren’t part of some grander design in that they can change us for the better.
For instance, 1996 was not an easy year for my young family though it was definitely an adventure.
It was one of those years in which we experienced the full “circle of life.”
In early March, we joyously welcomed our second daughter into our home. Later that month, we bid my grandfather farewell as his life ended.
In July, I accepted a new job and we moved far away from our families to live in St. George.
Looking back, there was quite a bit of stress that attended each of these events. Some of it was short-term, the rest took longer to resolve or to become the new normal.
At the time we were going through these changes, there was plenty of discomfort.
However, looking back on the multiple challenges of that year, it’s clear that our family also grew in needed and positive ways.
Our daughter’s birth was a home birth and when our midwife was called away unexpectedly, it appeared that we might have to deliver our baby without her. That was a real gut check.
Fortunately, the midwife returned in time for our daughter’s birth but those few hours that we were on our own were a powerful growing experience.
My wife and I both learned that we could be courageous and self-sufficient by pulling together in a time of need. Our marriage was stronger as a result.
Likewise, there was sorrow at my grandfather’s passing but his death was also accompanied by a renewed sense of love and connection between his family members. We hadn’t been estranged so much as we had allowed life to take us in many different directions.
Siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins alike have all benefited from the strengthening of our family ties. This has been evident as we’ve gathered to bid farewell to other loved ones.
We’ve learned not to take one another for granted.
Our move to a new home far away from our families was among the biggest challenges we faced that year. Relocating to a city where we knew no one and where nothing was guaranteed took a lot of faith.
To our astonishment, we discovered that when nothing is certain, anything is possible.
Our expectations were exceeded in every possible way.
Doors were opened and relationships were forged that could never have happened had everything remained in comfortable stasis.
Of course, these are things that are most easily recognized only as we look back and start connecting the dots.
I share these observations in the hopes that others who are experiencing some sort of personal upheaval or challenge might consider the silver lining it’s easy to overlook.
Social media can lead us to conclude that others are leading charmed lives without worry or care. In reality, there’s not a person alive who isn’t being challenged by life, at some level.
Many of us spend far too much time fighting the inevitable changes that attend life’s journey.
It’s liberating to accept that change will come with or without our permission.
Much of that change will be beyond our control. At the same time, how we choose to respond to these challenges is the one area where we have absolute control.
Right now, many of us have a sense that the difficulty level of life has been turned up a few notches. The growing economic and political instability is affecting individuals and families throughout the world.
The increasing divisions in society are taking away our sense of peace and wellbeing.
The stress and worry are real.
Instead of trying to avoid the difficulties, we’d be better served to lean into them and to let them refine us in ways that don’t seem to happen when we’re not afflicted. The fact that we don’t have to weather these challenges alone should be a source of encouragement as well as an opportunity to give meaningful service.
Rather than viewing our challenges as a kind of cosmic or divine punishment, we should see them as a catalyst to unleash the dormant personal greatness in each of us.
We don’t know what we can become unless we’re willing to be tested and proven.
I can’t help but anticipate a time, perhaps years from now, when we’ll look back on these times with a mixture of gratitude and appreciation for the growth they have provided.
The good news is that you don’t have to make this journey alone. The Fifty Two Seven Alliance is here to provide the camaraderie, moral support and encouragement we all need to navigate whatever lies ahead.
One final question to ponder:
What if the crossing of our paths–at this point in time–is more than just a happy coincidence?