Stomping the World Flat With Kindness

Nothing changes us like receiving love or kindness we didn't really deserve

Someone killed me the other day. 

I didn’t see it coming but they took me down like a pro.

The weapon was a post-it note, carefully tucked under my windshield wiper. And what it said went straight through my heart.

I can honestly say, it’s the first time I’ve ever been killed with kindness.

Here’s what happened.

While on my way to church, I was running a bit behind. 

As I pulled into the parking lot, I found myself following an SUV that was slowly making its way toward the back end of the church. 

Suddenly, the vehicle stopped and just sat there, apparently trying to pick the ideal parking spot. 

I waited for what seemed like a long time but was probably less than 10 seconds and then I slowly started to pull around the stopped SUV.

This broke the spell and the vehicle began to move toward a parking spot to our left, so I steered around their right side and swiftly swung into a space near the back of the parking lot. 

I wasn’t mad but I was definitely being impatient—one of my least favorite attributes about myself.

As I hurried into the church for my meetings, I could see the other vehicle just barely beginning to pull into a nearby space and I gave it no further thought.

3 hours later, as I returned to my car, I noticed an orange post-it note carefully tucked under my windshield wiper. 

Curious, I picked it up and read the words: “You are loved. Have a great day!”

My first thought was that my daughter had surprised me with the note, although I soon remembered that this type of spontaneity isn’t really her style.

Next, I wondered if if was a note from my wife. She would have known that I’d had almost no sleep the night before and was running on fumes.

Maybe she was trying to cheer me up. But it wasn’t a note from Becky either. 

After confirming that the note hadn’t come from either of them, I realized it may well have been left there by the driver with whom I had been impatient.

I thought about it for the rest of the day and into the night as well as my conscience slowly came up to speed and I realized just how thoughtless I had behaved.

This simple note reminded me of an anonymous quote I’d seen a few years ago that said:

“The person you are behind the wheel, is the person that you are.”

I’d always assumed that was directed at road-ragers.

I hadn’t realized it could also include lesser instances of thoughtless behavior.  

But what really kept coming back to me was how graceful and kind this person’s response had been. An angry note would have just confirmed my inner narrative that I was right to regard them as an obstacle.

But a thoughtful message like the one they left, stopped me in my tracks and made me seriously evaluate whether I had unwittingly taken out my frustration on someone who had not harmed me in the least.

It didn’t make me feel defensive. Instead, it left me reflecting on why it’s so easy to see others as objects rather than as people. 

Someone was seeing past my annoyance and treating me the way they would want to be treated. 

It was less of a guilt trip than it was an excellent example of the Golden Rule in practice.

I recalled a trip to the bank with my elderly mother a few years ago where it became clear that mom’s parking skills were getting a bit rusty.

I noticed that she had parked a bit over the line but since there were almost no cars in the parking lot, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. 

Our business in the bank took a fair amount of time, during which the bank lobby became quite busy. 

As we made our way back out to her car, I noticed a piece of paper under her windshield wiper with the words: “Nice parking job, (expletive deleted)!!!”

I quietly pocketed the paper before my dear old grey-haired mother saw it and wondered who the person was in the bank lobby that she had angered so deeply.

 I can’t help but contrast these two incidents as polar opposites of how we might respond in similar circumstances. 

Angry words and reactions may make us feel better in the moment because they give us a convenient target at which we can direct our displeasure.

But nothing can precipitate an authentic change of heart quite like being the recipient of love or kindness that we didn’t really deserve.

Have you had a similar experience? Feel free to share it in the comments.

P.S. Helping each other publish peace and tidings of great joy is a big part of what we hope to accomplish with the Fifty-two Seven Alliance. You are invited to join us in this endeavor when you are ready!

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